Life: a balancing act

Lately I've been trying to sort out things that are important and things that are not. There are times when something is important and then times when it's not. Some things seem important, but may not be. This makes prioritizing a little more difficult. I've been tossing around how much my sanity is worth verses an organized home and a happy family. I haven't been successful at balancing all of these yet. Perhaps when one finds this great balance they achieve complete enlightenment (and maybe a gold star).

Let me explain. I feel there are certain things that a wife and mother have to accomplish to make a house a home. The floors are not going to clean themselves. For a while I was feeling overwhelmed with everything that had to be done on top of taking care of a little baby. I worked through that and made my self a "chore list" for the week. This still works well for me. But then I guess you could say that I got a little selfish. "If I finish all the work that has to be done today... then I can put Marlie down for a nap and do whatever I WANT to do!" Great idea, right? Well, it worked well in theory. I admit I still do this. All I have to do is keep Marlie occupied for a few hours with something - or just keep her from getting into things she shouldn't be- and then after a few hours put her down for her nap and Voila. There are days (more and more recently) when I feel really guilty that I have not stimulated her in anyway that morning. BUT, I really need my sanity time. I work hard, I deserve some 'me' time and it's certainly not going to happen after nap time!

I didn't see much wrong with what I was doing until I thought back on a conversation I had with my dad a few weeks ago. He was talking about something unrelated to me and made the comment that sometimes Satan can use good things to pull us away from better things. Hmmm. That one makes you think, huh. That's exactly what is happening to me! I have been lured into doing good things, like sewing, blogging, sitting out in the sun, photography, etc. And I've been doing these things at the wrong time. I should be placing a much higher priority on spending time with Marlie. Duh. Now comes the question, do we just sit and play all morning long and I can clean up later? Where do I draw the line between practical and ideal? She sees everything I do and I mean everything! (the other night Marlie got a little play cup from her kitchen and pretended to fill it with water, took a drink and tilted her head back and told me she was taking "medicine". WHAT?!) So reason says that I should do some work in front of her. I want her to learn the importance of work and keeping a clean and orderly home.

Maybe what I should do is schedule so many hours of playtime with Marlie on my "chore list" everyday. It just occurred to me that this could be things we both like to do, like going walking at the park, or taking Briea outside to play. Marlie got a new swing for her birthday and she will spend 30 minutes or more at a time just sitting there being pushed up and down. I have enjoyed that time, number one because the weather has been lovely this past week and number two because I can just stand there and talk to her and she can't go anywhere! This last week, after feeling a little bit of "bad mommy syndrome" I had a play-with-Marlie-all-day day. The house was a mess when Chris got home, and dinner wasn't finished yet, the bills weren't paid and was then a day behind with house work. Not all bad. I think that's ok every once in a while. But I know that isn't the answer either. What I really need is two of me! (What mother hasn't ever thought that before)

Things I know to be important and true:

1. Heavenly Father loves me and knows I can be/am a good mother
2. Families are so important!
3. Take time to read the Word of God everyday (in the sunshine!)
4. Satan is real. And he is powerful. He is clever and current with the times. He knows us better than we sometimes know ourselves and will use this against us!
5. We are strong enough and smart enough to overcome all! Our loving Heavenly Father will give us the strength to do all that we must do!